Food Baby or Wild Baby?

Well, I had another Dr.'s appointment! It was great! Like I've previously said, I LOVE GOING TO THE DR!!!
(At least when it has to do with Wild Baby)


I've been wondering if the "pudge" that's forming around my stomach has been the result of my unhealthy food cravings or if that is actually Wild Baby growing. My jeans haven't fit since about a day after I took the home test (no, really...) & my other pants are currently being "buttoned" with a hair tie looped through the button hole. Classy.


In the following comparison pics DO NOT judge my ribbed, butterfly tank or poor posture. I was trying to keep my unmakeuped face out of the shot. You're welcome.

 


So, after my picture experiment I've determined perhaps it is Wild Baby after all. I know for sure it is now. Everyone keeps asking if I'm showing (mostly my friends I haven't seen in a while) & I tell them yes, but it just looks like I ate too much. When I wear my maternity shorts it looks cute but I'm ready to look cute ALL the time.


When did you start showing???


At my last Dr.'s appointment I got to HEAR the baby's heartbeat for the first time & it was overwhelming!!! I felt the same way as when we first SAW that little heart pumping away. Wow!


It took the nurse a few minutes to find the heartbeat & I started getting worried. She could tell because she could hear my heart speeding up and told me to try to relax sometimes it takes a minute. So I stared at the ceiling and mentally told myself, "DO NOT CRY!" "DO NOT CRY!" "Everything is fine! Baby is fine! She just doesn't know how to work this thing!" "DO NOT CRY!" I was also praying & begging the Lord to PLEASE let her find the heartbeat!


She decided she couldn't find it & needed to go get the ultrasound machine just to make sure everything was ok. I REALLY began mentally yelling at myself not to cry. And just as she was about to put up the doppler we heard it! There was no mistaking that sound! ...And I cried. Alot.


In fact, I couldn't even speak or answer her questions. I was just crying from relief and from joy. A beating heart inside of me. Being pregnant is THE MOST amazing experience of my life. I wish I could fully express it but I know I would never be able to.


The nurse handed me some tissue and I tried to compose myself. She then had a brilliant idea that I had totally forgotten about. She asked if I had a smart phone to record the sound on & so she found it again & I got to record the sound & I have listened to it every single day.


But a really cool thing was I was able to text the sound file to AW so he could hear even though he wasn't at the appointment. I also texted it to my mom. She then texted me back about how she was crying & it made me cry even more.


Eventually I stopped crying and made it through the rest of the appointment like a "normal" person. By the way the heartbeat was 170/bpm!


Also, this pregnancy has done some weird things to my body & appetite but by far the weirdest thing happened this week. A craving hit. It was so strong I could not ignore it. I tried for a couple of days but there it was plaguing my body & mind.


Bacon.


I wanted bacon. Needed bacon. Everything about bacon was calling out to me. The thick smell, the hard crunchy texture & the greasy goodness that topped it off. Bacon.


Here's the strange thing about my bacon craving: I haven't had any form of pork since 2006. Yes, 5 years pork free. & here I am pregnant and needing to eat a healthy diet & all I can think about it bacon.


I had no choice. I went to Chick-fil-a and got a bacon, egg & cheese biscuit and devoured it and loved it. I was really ashamed. I didn't tell anyone. That night AW & I went to dinner with friends & I made my confession. They laughed and I felt so gross but oh so good...


The next morning I got another bacon, egg & cheese biscuit & Wild Baby thanked me. I went grocery shopping and bought a big box of frozen bacon, egg & cheese biscuits and shamefully, the box is now empty.


Last night I wanted a salad for dinner which is also a miracle because just the mere sight of lettuce has made me gag but I really wanted a salad. So I got a nice crunchy salad with fresh, crisp bacon on top & it was ooooh sooo goood!


I'm not saying I'm converting to being a full-time eater of pork but I think the occasional bacon strip won't hurt.


Also, in other news we've moved and I'll share a pic of one of my favorite parts of our new place:

Yes, a built in book case! My other favorite part is our garden tub! Ahhhhh!


Also, I met with a doula to discuss what I want for my birth experience and I'm planning on doing it naturally. If you've ever done it naturally do you have nay tips? NO NAY SAYERS or NEGATIVITY ALLOWED!!!


I've also been acquiring a few gifts which I am LOVING! I'll share them with you:

My first official baby gift from a very sweet lady I work for. I wonder what she wants Wild Baby to be??

This next gift came from my BFF, Stephanie! How perfect is this?!

My cousin Amanda gave Wild Baby a very sweet book that I can not wait to read when Baby gets here! These next 2 outfits came from my mom & they are too perfect for Wild Baby! They each say: "Wildly Cute"

Next month we find out if Wild Baby is a boy or a girl & I can hardly wait!!!!! I can't wait to update you all!!! Maybe my bacon cravings will calm down by then.... =)

Baby, it's me, Mommy. Are you there?

That's right, AW & I are having a baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And we could not be more excited about it! We are so thrilled!

*WARNING: This could end up being a really long post. Proceed with time*

I have decided to do this post in a journal format since I am writing this way before we are ready to announce it.

Hahaha, right now you have no idea....

So I'll start with Saturday 04/09/11

AW & I have had a busy past few weeks. Apart from the usual busyness of going to class, working, church activities and just life in general we are in the process of buying a home. A foreclosure to be exact, which makes the process even wilder. But life is normal, we both feel great just a little tired.

Sunday 04/10/11

We made plans to go to early service, Sunday school, then brunch in order to catch the 1:00 show of A Chorus Line! Thanks to our generous friends, we got tickets and were really excited. We even made plans to eat at Chez Lulu's for brunch beforehand.

Well, Sunday morning I was wiped. Like no energy whatsoever. My nose was running like a faucet, I was sneezing and I felt like some evil doer had used an energy-zapper on me all night while I slept. Plus I had a weird blemish right in the middle of my face. Great.

We went to early service but left before it even ended because I was feeling so bad. We went home and I napped for a bit. We even decided to just go to the Egg & I, which is right by where we live, so that I could nap for an extra 30 minutes.

I reluctantly dragged myself out of bed, we went to brunch where I had coffee & took a claritin in hopes of some sort of energy arriving. I perked up a little bit and we went off to the show. Well, throughout the show I was fading fast.

We came straight home after, where I immediately crawled back into bed. I was a little nervous because I'd never been so exhausted with allergies before. But, I decided I would just rest. I slept until AW woke me up so I could eat some dinner. I was up for about 2 hours and went back to bed where I slept for 10 hours solid until the next morning!

That leads us to... Monday 04/11/11

I woke up still sleepy and still stuffy but I didn't have to be at work until 1:00 so I decided to just laze around and watch KLG & Hoda while drinking some coffee in hopes of feeling better, or at least alive.

I decided to hop in the shower at the last minute possible before work. I was texting one of my bosses about work that past Friday and decided since I was having some strange symptoms I might as well pee on a stick for good measure.

I didn't even give it a second thought. I peed, placed it on the back of the toilet and opened the shower curtain to hop in. That's when my phone went off with a text back. I decided to glance at it before hopping in when much to my surprise I saw that the pregnancy test was showing two lines! TWO LINES?! TWO LINES?!

My eyes are tricking me. There's no way it's two lines. Just close your eyes, blink a hundred-thousand times and then look again.

Yep, two lines:

I immediately called AW while my hands were shaking like crazy & my heart felt like it was literally going to beat out of my chest! He wasn't answering...and with each call I was stressing more and more.

I finally reached him & told him the news. He was shocked and really happy. And surprisingly really level-headed. He suggested I take another test which I thought was brilliant and I was surprised I hadn't thought of that idea already!

I proceeded to gulp down glasses of water in an attempt to produce that coveted urine. I barely got anything but apparently it was enough for the test to immediately show those two pink lines.

AW also suggested that I call the doctor. Which I did & when I was talking to the girl up there I broke down. Full on tears. I could barely speak for a second. Wow! Embarrassing!

Sometimes AW calls me "Franny Freakout" because, well, I freak out. A lot. I am "crouched to control" and unfortunately life does not always go exactly as you want it; when that happens, I freak out. I'd like to think I'm getting better about it, but I might be a little subjective.

So, I scheduled my appointment for the next day and hung up. And cried some more. AW suggested I call someone who had been pregnant before because he had no idea what to say to bring me back down. "Why don't you call your mom?"

"I don't want to call Mom. What if it's wrong? She'll be so disappointed. I don't want to tell anyone 'til we know for sure!"

So, I called work to tell them I would be running behind and my wonderful boss, Tina, was superwoman. I ended up confessing my new secret to her amidst a lot of tears. She was awesome and called me down, told me to wash my face and come in.

I eventually got around to that shower I had been attempting and went on in to work. Tina talked to me some more. Reminded me that it was obviously God's will and that he would provide and protect.

I told her I was upset because the book (What To Expect Before You're Expecting) had told me it could take 6-12months to conceive. Plus we hadn't been attempting hard core. At all!

She said, "Laura, you can't always trust those books. You know that."

And then I felt dumb. But happy. And I was glad that the book had been wrong. So two hours after I saw those pink lines I was sitting at work while my head was literally swimming and I realized in horror! that I hadn't told my baby I loved it. So I told it.

I also apologized in advance for my tendency to curse while driving.

(During this whole crazy day, we also heard back from the bank on 2 different offers we had made. Good news but still we were having to make some fast decisions. Thankfully my hubby took charge and totally handled it all. Then that evening there was a tornado that came through and we were hanging out in the closet with Artie, listening to JP Dice on the radio, for about half an hour.)

Tuesday 04/12/11

Both AW & I barely got any sleep on Monday night because we were so excited about what the Dr. would say. Actually, I had this deep fear that he would think I was crazy, tell me the home test was wrong and that I was not pregnant.

I went to class as usual, AW went to work and at 2:15 we met up at the hospital! This was it! Moment of truth!

So, we waited...

And then I peed in a cup and talked to a nurse who asked us a lot of questions, gave us a lot of information, and hooked me up with some awesome prenatal vitamins that I can actually swallow.

Then we were sent back out to wait....

They called us back to a room and told me to wrap up in that lovely over-sized paper towel and press the little yellow button when I was ready.

Then we waited....

The Dr. came in, talked to us, told us congratulations and proceeded to do an exam. He then told us to head down to get a sonogram. TVS style. (If you don't know what that means you can ask me later...ouch.)

We then waited again....(but not that long this time)

She did the sonogram and had a hard time finding the baby which of course made me nervous. She told me that I was measuring at 5 weeks but that visually I looked only about 4 weeks. The Dr. had told us there was a good chance we wouldn't see anything and not to worry.

I got dressed again and we were taken to the Dr.'s office.

Where...you guessed it...we waited.

He came in and at this point I was still unsure if it was real. I asked him if he thought I actually was pregnant and he said, yes. Although we wouldn't have a definite answer until we saw something.

I then had some blood drawn and we were finally released! 3 HOURS!!! Wow! I was exhausted.
(But, I would totally wait all day to see my Dr. because he is awesome! If you need a great Dr. who loves the Lord & sees his work as a ministry let me know!)

We headed to my brother's baseball game & I called my mom to see what their dinner plans were. AW & I decided that since it's really early at this point we are only going to tell our immediate families so that they can be in prayer for the baby. Plus we are so excited we want to tell SOMEONE!!!

My mom was NOT helpful in telling me their plans and she asked where I was because I was an hour late to the game. I kept trying to figure out what they were doing to no avail. So, I just said,

"Mom, I've been at Dr. McKenzie's office."

She freaked. But I made her walk away from the crowd so as not to alert other people, plus I really hated for her to know before my dad knew. So I told her to act surprised when we told the fam.

After the game we went to eat at Olive Garden for my aunt's birthday. After all of the other relatives had left we told my parents & brothers in the parking lot of Olive Garden. Classy. We then called my sister and shared the news with her.

We had already called AW's family and they were excited as well. We went home tired but really, really happy.

Friday 04/15/11

At this point AW & I have had a few days to let the baby news settle in as reality. The baby is constantly on our minds and I literally think about nothing else.

It affects everything. Mentally, I have been having weird dreams plus I am constantly analyzing every single bodily feeling I have.

I have had some trouble sleeping which is not helping my already amped-up exhaustion. I usually sleep on my stomach or side but due to soreness I can't sleep on my stomach and whenever I lay on either side I start cramping.

2 nights ago the cramps were fairly bad & I freaked. I called the Doctor the next morning and the nurse told me it was totally normal even this early in the game. Phew! I hope they don't have Caller ID because I will probably be calling up there every day with some new question or concern. I am psycho mom.

In fact, I've even had the thought that I wish as soon as you knew you were pregnant that you would be admitted to the hospital for the full 9 months so that you could be under constant care & observation. Loony. I know.

One fun thing was AW & I went to Publix the other night & bought all sorts of yummy & healthy foods that I can eat for lunch since I'm staying away from that evil-lysteria-covered-lunch-meat!

Other than soreness/achiness/exhaustion/difficulty sleeping/weepiness I feel great! 

I am BEYOND THANKFUL that at this point I have not experienced any nausea!!!

Seriously, that is HUGE!!! Praise be to the Lord!!!

Oh & another piece of good news, the Dr. called to say my blood levels look good & I go back Monday to have more blood taken to make sure my hormones are increasing. And then in about 1 1/2 weeks - 2 weeks we go back for another (hopefully, less painful) sonogram so that we can hopefully SEE our baby!

Tuesday 04/19/11

Well, it was certainly an eventful weekend! Friday there were some really serious tornadoes that came through but I slept right on through them.

The University closed, work closed & I had a free afternoon. I was wiped after the crazy week of learning about Baby & trying to buy a house & class & work & life in general...whew! I went to my parents & slept for about 3 hours. 

Then, I went home after dinner and went to bed. And slept. 

Saturday, my brother had a baseball game & we went but because of the previous night's storms it was VERY windy & a bit chilly! In other words, miserable!

We had plans later that night to attend a cookout with our church small group. Since I've been having anxiety attacks in the grocery store I decided it would be best if we spent a couple of hours going to organic food stores to buy some meat & sides that are baby-approved to take.

Side Story: I love the grocery store. In fact, I get a rush every time I grocery shop because I use coupons & I love to see how much I saved! Plus I enjoy cooking so I like to pick out food.

However strangely enough, whenever I have some major life change, the grocery store becomes my nemesis. Huh? You're wondering. I know....let me explain...

When AW & I got home from our honeymoon we decided we needed to go to the grocery store because our little love nest was foodless. In great form I began making a rather extensive list of what I thought we should purchase.

Well, much to my surprise, AW starts telling me items he wants me to put on the list. Total panic set in. He was saying, "I like tuna and apples and salad. I can take that for lunch. And I like...." 

What?! I don't take those things for lunch! I take turkey sandwiches and lean cuisines and chocolate chip cookies! We can't buy all of my stuff AND your stuff too...Panic.

Please don't ask why because I don't know but this made me panic. Would I have to eat tuna and apples for lunch? Yuck! I began to cry. Hard.

Sweet AW, who was very bewildered, talked to me, gave me reassurance and eventually told me to go wash my face because we really did need to get to the store.

Everything turned out fine and I explained that I would need to go down every, single aisle just to make sure we had what we needed (but really I just wanted some sense of control).

Well, now that I have acquired The Mommy Lens, the grocery store has brought on great anxiety. No-thanks to Google & the massive amounts of information on hand I have over-loaded my brain, therefore confusing myself & causing total mental panic.

"Did that list say organic grapes only but regular apples? Or was it the other way around? I can't remember! I'll just have to get both organic! Do they have those here? Should I go to a certified organic store? I can't use coupons there!" Panic.

AW & I went to a sale at Piggly Wiggly and my dear husband could sense my over-whelming anxiety creeping up. He grabbed my elbow, looked at me and said, "It's ok. We don't have to get anything." Calm.

In fact, if it weren't for AW I would probably be dead. Or, you know, crumpled in a corner crying uncontrollably until I did actually die. I know I'm being silly & it's easy to do in a post but really, there is always a new question fear that crawls into my unsuspecting brain.

As a result I have been keeping this weapon of defense in my brain:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

-Phillipians 4:6-7

Well after we got home from the store we took a nap. When it was time to leave for the cookout I did not feel well, at all. I sent AW on without me and cried because I felt like such a failure of a wife.

But because I have been so sleepy my tears lasted about 45 seconds. And then I fell asleep. I've thought about writing a humorous book on the journey of pregnancy & I came up with a title: 

Too Tired To Cry

That about sums it up, for me at least. Too tired to cry. That is no lie, my friend. So, off my wifeless hubby went. Off to sleepyland I went. 

I woke up a couple of hours later feeling as though Fear had been joined by Death and they were simultaneously attacking me. I immediately called AW & asked him to come home with a thermometer. 

He rushed home, refreshed my glass of blue Gatorade and stuck the thermometer in my mouth.

Beep, Beep....

100.1

Panic. Tears.

I called the Dr. immediately and began blubbering on and on, choking through my tears to tell this terrible news of a fever. Of course his tone implied I was CrAzY (not really, I'm just being a little sensitive) and he reassured me that with a little Tylenol I should pull through.

30 HOURS LATER....my fever finally broke!!!!!

I had an appointment yesterday to have more blood drawn for an HCG test & of course asked the nurse a hundred more questions. I got my results yesterday afternoon & my hormone levels are at 5,000 something!!! 

WooHoo!! Last Tuesday they were at 500 something so that is great! For now, I am anticipating our next ultrasound a week from today &  dying inside to share the news with everyone. I'm avoiding ALL websites regardless of how "valid" they may be (or look) and limiting my literature to What To Expect When You're Expecting and The Bible. 

It's really the only way to maintain sanity. (Sorry for such a long entry today, but I did warn you at the beginning that this could get lengthy)! 

04/27/11

Yesterday afternoon was WONDERFUL! We went back to the Dr. and had another ultrasound & saw the most precious little heartbeat!!! It was amazing!!!

Seeing that little heart pumping away was the most amazing, wonderful, overwhelming experience of my life. AW said he was speechless & I was crying before I even knew I was crying. 

I could go on & on forever about how wonderful it was to see that little miracle! Wow! I'm not going to get on a soapbox here, but how anyone could say that there isn't a little life in there is beyond disgusting to me! 

Our sweet Dr. said, "It's not much, just a little english pea, but it's our english pea." Which of course made me cry some more. So sweet! So...here's a picture of our little english pea (I circled Baby in red):

We were on cloud 9. We just couldn't get over it! We went to my parent's and shared one of the 8 pictures that printed out! We, of course, have our little pea proudly on the fridge! 

"Baby's 1st Picture"!

They pushed my due date back. Originally they said Dec.11 but yesterday they said the new "official" date is Dec.19!!! Ahhhh!! It feels like it's forever away! I just can't wait to see the Wild Baby!

So, as of today I am 6wks/2dys! I'm feeling pretty good. A little nausea but mostly when I'm provoked by something gross. I've determined that I am craving the potato in ANY form! As long as it's salty!

I mean, LOTS of salt! Mmmm...saaaaaalllttt....or really any carb will do. I'm not a health nut by any means but I always try to make sure we have something green with dinner, whether it's a salad or peas or broccoli. 

However, all green veggies are making me nauseous & even gaggy. Blech! Saturday night we went out with AW's fam to celebrate his dad's b'day & I ordered steamed broccoli. After about one bite & smelling that steamed, greeness I had to just hand it to the waiter to take far, far away. Same with my dinner at Cracker Barrel last night. I ordered Chicken fried chicken with sawmill gravy, boiled potatoes, dumplings & greens.

Yeah, the greens went back after about two bites. I couldn't even look at them. However my white plate covered in white, starchy, carbs was devoured in record time! Even when I cooked dinner Monday night I could only choke down 1 helping of green peas (which are my favorite) but I ate up some spaghetti noodles just cooked in butter!

**Please no lectures on the unhealthiness of eating all white foods. I can't help it**

Now we're just trying to decide when to spill the beans... 

05/05/11

Well, I think all or most of you already know about Wild Baby. I'll "thank" my dad for that. Who knew? Here's a tip for the future: When trying to keep Baby a secret, DON'T TELL YOUR PARENTS!!!

Of course I'm excited that they're so excited but wow! So, like I said, you probably already know & that's great but just act surprised ok?

Anyways, I'm 7wks/3days today & wow! what a week! Last week was the awful tornadoes that destroyed a lot of our great state. Then Sunday we got news that Bin Laden was killed. Monday was our 2 year wedding anniversary & through it all I've been on the verge of puking.

That's right. Good ol' nausea has decided to join us. Thankfully no puking but just every other side affect known to man including a nose bleed. Besides being exhausted, constantly nauseous, killer acid reflux, not being able to sleep, being bloated and my nose bleeding, I'm great!

Oh, & let's not forget my nightly weird-as-all-get-out dreams plus tears for no reason.

I'm not complaining, I am BEYOND excited & grateful for this child. I'm just documenting my experience. So no lectures please!

In fact, I prefer no lectures of any kind on any subject. At all. Ever. & if you've had some horrible pregnancy experience DO NOT SHARE IT WITH ME!!! (I'm speaking from experience).

Your horrible, awful, terrible experience will creep into my brain, give me an awful nightmare and make me cry all day the next day. There's really no point in me knowing.

If you would like to empathize or relate to my experience then please do. In fact, that's what I need. But don't scare me & don't project onto me. 

Back to Baby...

I am still feeling like December 19th is light years away! Actually, I feel like my appointment in a week & a 1/2 is light years away! I LOVE going to the Dr! I get to see my little baby & I get my Dr.'s ear all to myself & everyone is happy to see you. I must say that so far, the best part of being pregnant is going to the Dr!

But like I've said before, I have the best Dr.

Now, although I haven't done any registry stuff or picked out any specifics (besides names) & I haven't started buying diapers, I have been mildly freaking out about planning this child's birthday parties.

Wild Baby is going to be born right around Christmas time & all of their friends will be travelling for the holidays & everyone will be monetarily tapped out & everyone will have something every weekend. When, oh when will I have Wild Baby's birthday party??? 

& how, oh how, will I make Wild Baby feel extra special on their birthday without it bleeding into Christmas???

If you are a December baby please let me know your thoughts!!!

Also, I called my pediatrician's office just to make sure he isn't retiring any time soon. I grew up going to him along with all my siblings and several of my cousins. He's AWESOME!!! I love Dr. Steve & I would just cry (literally) if I couldn't take Wild Baby to him!

He's been practicing for close to 40 years so I told my mom I hope he's getting a second wind because I need him! Probably for at least 20-30 more years. 70 years practicing medicine isn't so long....right? Errrr....

Also, some other good news that we got today, AW & I are under contract on a townhome!!! Hopefully all will go smoothly & we will be out of our apartment by the end of the month!!!

This is the farthest we've gone in the whole home-buying process so I'm still a little nervous (can you imagine me nervous? Crazy, right?!) & a little skeptical but I know that the Lord is orchestrating it all. 

It's in an awesome location! 10 minutes from my parents, 5 minutes from our church & 5 minutes from the interstate! Also, I finished up school yesterday & am now preparing to work, work, work all summer & basically until Wild Baby shows up.

I can't wait!!!

05/16/11

As of today I am 9 weeks & Baby is growing like crazy with a great heartbeat of about 160bpm!!!

Mom went with me to this visit & it was so much fun! Baby is just so much bigger! We couldn't believe it!  

Here's a picture:

 

Untouched

Here's my latest poem I wrote for Creative Writing. I hope you like it!

"UNTOUCHED"

They come in multiple colors & shades

But not every color is an option

Only browns, greens, blues & grays

We need & use them everyday

The limited colors are that of an ocean

Or like Earth when seen from far away

These mysterious orbs set in multiple shapes

Take life in while in motion

Life's colors & forms they help us appreciate

They read words & people & art & light rays

They expose the world & do not take caution

When showing the truth of the world we have made

They help us also to select a mate

They show our lover's beauty, drowning us in a visual potion

We are piqued by the sight commanding our gaze

How cruel that the organ that shows us our days

Should give into that "windows to the soul" notion

Never to be caressed or feel the lover's passionate blaze

To remain untouched, to remain unfazed.

Read This, Not That

For Christmas I got 9 or 10 new books and for my birthday last week my dear husband got me a Kindle! In other words, I love to read and lately I have been reading non-stop.

So, I've decided to share what I've read and let you know my personal opinion. I won't really do plot summaries, just let you know whether or not I think it's worth reading. Happy Trails!

(Oh & I'll be rating these books in terms of worms rather than thumbs up or stars) 

This book was awesome! I had been wanting to read it for months and even borrowed it from the library but because I was in school and there was a waiting list I didn't get to finish it in time before I had to turn it back in. Bummer.

So, when I got it over Christmas break I was super-psyched and read it non-stop for 4 days. After I read it I shared it with my mom who loved it as well. Also, it's coming to the silver screen sometime this summer (I think June).

I suggest you go ahead and read this book and get excited for the movie version too! If you like southern lit you'll love it!

I give it 5 worms...

Next up to bat... 

This book was awful. I absolutely hated it. In fact, I am baffled by the fact that it is so popular. It was extremely over-detailed, with mind-numbing techincal language and had very disturbing scenes that were unnecessarily portrayed.

I was either bored or horrified throughout this book. A typical who-dun-it, family murder mystery it was poorly written and down-right terrible.

I give it 1 worm and that is only because it's actually published. This movie is also coming to the silver screen in the U.S. (already made a version over in Sweden) and if it's as graphic as the book I would suggest you stay as far away as possible...

Now moving to a more "intellectual" piece...

This book was given to me by someone in our small group and I have to say I love it! Zinsser is a professor (can't remember if he's retired or not) who has written several books and revised this particular book several times.

It is so easy to read and has SO many practical writing tips. He wrote this book, primarily to people writing non-fiction but there are so many good things to keep in mind that I think anyone who does any kind of writing will learn a lot.

He keeps it easy but real and I will probably (and hopefully) read this book many, many times each time learning something new. If you love writing for your job or just for yourself PLEASE READ THIS BOOK as it will only help you improve!

Not surprisingly, I give this book 5 worms...

This next book is extremely practical and affects a wider audience...

We are currently reading this book with our small group and we are almost done. This book was recommended to AW & I when we were engaged and we ordered it, or so we thought, but it ended up being the work book. 

Between working full time and planning a wedding within 6 months we never got around to ordering the actual book and actually forgot all about it. Until now.

If you are engaged or married I DEFINITELY suggest reading this book together. There are so many great insights and so many practical suggestions to keeping your marriage Christ-centered. Harvey references not only Scripture but several theologians, authors and even modern-day movies.

It is easy to read and a GREAT way to generate meaningful conversations with your spouse.

I give this book 5 worms...

I'll go ahead and wrap it up with something lighthearted...

If you enjoy the Pioneer Woman's blog then you will definitely enjoy her book! She is hilarious! The book chronicles her courtship with her hubby (Marlboro Man) and their engagement and first year of marriage. I probably really enjoyed it because I am in that stage of life.

Also, it was the first book I read on my new Kindle so I really enjoyed getting to use it!  

I think it's safe to say that if you are a guy you wouldn't enjoy this pick but if you're a woman hoping for love or living in love then you will definitely appreciate Ree's humor.

I've also read a rumor that this book is also coming to the silver screen but that might just be an internet room. I hope not!

I give this one 3 worms...

If you've read any of these books let me know what you think about them!

Eternity

This is my first short story. I turned it in for Creative Writing & was critiqued on it but I would love your thoughts as well!

 *******

“My dad is taller than your dad.”

“Nuh-huh, my dad is taller. My dad is 6' 3.”

“Well, my dad is 6' 5.”

“No he isn't. You just made that up”.

There we sat debating one of the great issues in life, whose dad was taller. Sitting on top of those monkey bars in my backyard it was probably 95 degrees outside, but we didn't even notice. We had real business to settle out there and besides, my play-set was under the shade of at least six tall oak trees. The only thing we noticed were the pesky mosquitoes that seemed to never be satisfied. It didn't matter that my mother had sprayed us down from head to toe in repellant, we were young and I suppose our flesh was just right for a mosquito feast. 

 

Even though I knew Elaine's dad was taller, I still held my position that my dad was taller. I felt I would have shamed my father had I admitted he was the shorter man, not that he would have ever known about this little debate. Nonetheless, I felt it my daughterly duty to fully support my father's stature and its superiority. The fact was both of our dads were tall men therefore there was no need for shame on either side, but when you're nine the trivial becomes competition. 

 

We continued on with more valuable conversations about life. Did Hadley really like Landon? We just knew she did even though Landon said he liked Brandi. Oh that Hadley, she was always stirring up trouble. 

Now, what about Candice? Was she really moving to Florida next summer or was she just making that up? Either way we agreed we hoped it was true. You see, Candice had this big slumber birthday party back in the spring and all of the girls in our class got invited. Of course all of the girls came, she was going to teach us how to be cheerleaders after-all and what nine year old girl would pass up such an opportunity. Learning how to be a cheerleader would secure our fate as the next Kelly Kapowski, and if truth be told we all wanted those thick long locks with teased bangs. My bangs just sat flat as a pancake all the way across my forehead. Elaine however had perfected the whispied bang look. She could always fix her own hair to look so cool. My mom still did my hair every morning just as she did that Saturday morning in April before Candice's birthday-cheer-leading-slumber-party extravaganza. Elaine and I arrived together as we did to everything. Not only were Elaine and I best friends but so were our mothers and our fathers and our brothers and sisters. In fact, for several years at our private elementary school the principal never allowed us to be in the same class because she thought we were cousins. Now don't ask me what the atrocity of cousins having class together is because I don't know. All I know is it wasn't allowed and the last time we were in class together was the first grade. Not cool. 

 

There we stood on Candice's front porch, gifts in hand, ringing the doorbell. Her mother answered with a high-pitched drawl that she was “so excited to have all of Candice's little friends over”. She took the gifts and sent us upstairs to find the gang of girls while she gave my mother the details on what we'd be doing and that she'd bring us to church the next morning so she didn't need to worry about picking us up beforehand.

“Hey y'all it's Elaine and Catherine! I'm so glad y'all came to my birthday party, I'm going to teach y'all cheer leading,” Candice exclaimed in the same drawl as her mother. I wanted to reply, “Duh, we know that, that's why we came,” but I just squealed as though I had opened up a surprise Barbie doll house on Christmas morning. We eventually trodden down the stairs into Candice's kitchen to “ooh” and “ahh” over her birthday cake. Her mother suggested we go outside to do the cheer leading while Candice's dad finished grilling the hamburgers. Candice's dad was shorter than both of our own dads and that should have been a sign right there. Naturally she'd have to over compensate for her father's lacking stature.

We were all chompin' at the bit to gain our pom-pom waiving skills. We were out on her back porch in the warm April air. The sun was almost gone and their back porch lights were casting that mustard-yellow glow. There seemed to be a million gnats gathered around the lights but it didn't matter to us as long as they stayed away. We could hear the crickets and cichadias chirping loudly in the woods as if to provide the music that our cheers would be set to. Candice lined us all up and stood in front of us so that she could watch everyone's progress. She began to show us a cheer and then would repeat it slowly so that we could learn the words but I already knew all of them because my older cousins were always cheer leading. They were pre-teens and they were so cool. I was kind of bored but the excitement from the other girls was starting to be contagious and besides Elaine was really taking it seriously. I kept trying to tell her I already knew all of these cheers. 

 

“Psst, Elaine, my cousins already taught me this one at Christmas time last year.” “Shhhh! Catherine, I'm trying to hear Candice”.

Fine then, I would just give in to the atmosphere. The whole cheer session ended up being really unproductive but after-all a nine year old birthday girl was leading the whole shindig. We all crammed inside for hamburgers and potato chips with glistening skin, from the early on-set humidity, and less-than-Kelly-Kapowski hair. My bangs had become quite greasy as they smooshed against my forehead attempting to permanently stick there. Elaine's hair had poofed out and her bangs were a bit too whispy. After all of the food and singing and cake we had to take showers and get ready for bed. We couldn't be up too late, we had to be at Sunday School the next morning. As we pulled out our sleeping bags it seemed as though everyone already had their designated spot on the floor in Candice's room. Where was there room for Elaine and me, we wondered.

“Oh, I guess there isn't any room on my floor. Catherine, you and Elaine will just have to sleep in my loft,” Candice dictated.

The loft? The loft! But then we wouldn't be able to hear what all the girls were whispering about on the floor and we had to know if Landon liked Hadley or Brandi. What could we do? It was Candice's party and as her guests we were obligated to listen to her. Resigned, we crawled up in the really weird box-hole in her bedroom wall that she called “the loft” and sighed and grumbled until we fell asleep. I almost cried and asked Candice's mother to call my mother to come get me but I knew Elaine wouldn't think that was very cool so I just sucked it up. Besides, Elaine was next to me so it wasn't so awful.

The next morning we woke up and Candice's mother called us downstairs for an ever-nutritious breakfast of cereal and milk. All of the girls chose some chocolatey or fruity flavored cereal. They poured so much milk in their bowls that really they were having cereal-flavored milk for breakfast, but I hated milk in my cereal. It made the cereal all soggy and I couldn't eat enough crunchy cereal pieces to fill me up in time. I chose my favorite corn cereal, dry. Well, apparently this wasn't very cool because Bossy Candice started laughing and making fun of my cereal choice. It was really too bad her dad was shorter than most dads. It's probably why she was so mean. She had to over compensate. 

 

Thankfully, we had to rush off to church so the party ended pretty quickly the next morning. After enduring the cheer leading that wasn't, sleeping in the loft and being made fun of for my cereal choice one can see why Elaine and I were eager for Candice to move to Florida. Too bad it wasn't this summer that she might go. We made an informal pact that if she had another spend-the-night birthday party next spring we wouldn't go.

Life continued to move slowly on those monkey bars in my backyard. As the afternoon went on we talked and talked and talked some more. Talking was something Elaine and I were good at. Those summer afternoons seemed endless and so did our conversation topics. When the afternoon hit its peak we began to feel not only the heat but also the oppressive humidity. The humidity made it seem as though every part of our bodies was weighed down, even our fast-moving mouths. We walked up the stairs of my back deck and inside the nice cool house. We decided to get a can of coke because our mouths were so dry and sticky. We gulped it down so fast and without even speaking decided to race to see who could drink the most. Elaine won. She always won everything. It wasn't fair sometimes. She was taller and bigger than I and she had long, thick blonde hair. I was so thin and I had thin brown hair to match. Everything about me was stick-straight and everything about Elaine wasn't, even at age nine.

“Is it too hot out there, girls?” my mother asked.

“Yes ma'am, I think we're gonna watch TV,” I replied.

“Well James is watching his movie right now so why don't y'all just find something else to do,” mother informed us. My baby brother James was always watching a movie. My parents bought him all different tapes for Christmas and we had them all memorized by the new year.

“Let's go downstairs and play Barbies!” Elaine suggested. That was cool with me. I loved barbies and it was one of mine & Elaine's favorite things to play together. We had so much Barbie stuff. Elaine had a pink Barbie jeep, I had a hot pink Barbie corvette. She had a Barbie house, I had the Barbie fold out house which was also hot pink. My sister, Ruth, had a Barbie Pizza Hut and Elaine's sister, Carol, had a Barbie ski boat. When we had all of our Barbie stuff together we created another world. Obviously we had a million of the dolls plus several Ken dolls and about a trillion different outfits and shoes for our Barbies and Kens.

Last summer our friend Jana had a birthday party and we went horseback riding. It was fun but we were really soar the next day. We almost didn't even notice the aches we had though, because as party favors Jana's mom had made each of us a new outfit for our Barbies. It was really cool plus at Jana's party we got to all sleep on the floor together. Her dad was really tall so she didn't need to over compensate like Candice. In fact, our dad's worked together so I saw Jana a lot. She called me her best friend and I thought that was nice but I never called her mine back. I knew it wasn't the truth and I knew if I ever said it just to make Jana happy, Elaine would be hurt. 

 

“Let's make a pact,” Jana was saying to me one day on the playground at school. “Let's never be like those stuck up girls. We can be cool because we're smart. We'll read lots of books.” There we sat in the big grassy field filled with little white clovers that seemed to decorate the grass to celebrate spring.

“Yeah, we'll be smart,” I said. I was agreeing out loud but really I knew I would never sit and read all day with Jana. Those “stuck up” girls were my friends and we had plans. We were always scheming to get one of the boys or another to notice us. Currently I was working on Mac. He was dreamy. Also, we had to practice our cheer leading. Middle school wasn't that far away and we had to get a jump start on our cool factor. Plus, if I really committed to reading and “being smart” with Jana all the time I probably wouldn't get invited to slumber parties and Elaine wouldn't want to hang around me anymore. I had to choose the option that kept me closest to Elaine. I always would. She was my best friend and I needed her. She took care of me. 

 

Even though I was nine and should have been able to do my own hair, I couldn't. I suppose my scrawny arms weren't strong enough to twist and curl my hair in just the right way. Thankfully, Elaine always took care of my hair when I spent the night. She would put it into a pony-tail at just the right height or she would curl the ends out with her hot pink curling iron. On the day her most sophisticated hair-styling tool came in the mail I knew to assume my place on the bathroom stool.

“Look, Catherine! My mom ordered me the topsy-turvy off that TV commercial! Now I can do your hair in a topsy-turvy and it won't take me that long. Sit down, let me try it on you,” she ordered. I sat there looking in the mirror watching Elaine's every move as she gathered all my hair back and pulled it through the purple, plastic loop. She was great, it only took her about five minutes and my hair was in the perfect topsy-turvy with no frizzies. Now it was her turn to try it on herself. Of course she couldn't just have an ordinary topsy-turvy so it took her a bit longer to get it absolutely perfect. In the meantime I sat on the faux-rock counter in the bathroom and watched her in amazement. I was jealous of her hair-styling skills and longed to be able to do everything Elaine could. She told me to go in her room and get her boombox so we could listen to Toni Braxton while she worked. I came back in the bathroom and stretched the cord across the top of the toilet and blared Toni's smooth voice. Toni Braxton was so cool so naturally Elaine had her tape. I looked out of the tiny window in the bathroom as the sun was going down. I was sad that the light was waning fast and wished these long summer days would last forever. I could smell the charcoal burning as Elaine's father was grilling us hotdogs.

“Guess what Catherine? I heard my dad say a cuss word the other night.”

I gasped, “You did?! What did he say?”

“He said, 'Dammit!' He was working on my doll house and I guess he got tired of it. My mom told me to take him a glass of water and tell him he probably needed to cool down.”

“Whoa. I can't believe your dad cussed. My dad has never cussed,” I said feeling piously upper-handed.

“Well, he didn't mean to. He just got angry. My mom said he didn't mean to.”

I just looked at Elaine. Of course she would defend her father's honor. I would've done the same although I might have been too embarrassed to even divulge that information in the first place. Her dad might be taller but at least mine had never cussed.

“Come on Elaine, let's go jump on the trampoline.” I begged.

“No, I'm not done with my topsy-turvy. You can go get Carol and jump but she's such a baby.”

Elaine knew I wouldn't ask Carol to jump. Carol was only five and there's no way I would jump with a baby. I would bounce her right off and she would cry. It wasn't worth the trouble, so I just waited 'til Elaine perfected her hair. When she was finally done she raced me out her back door and we jumped and jumped while the mosquitoes ate and ate on our ripe flesh.

We squealed and laughed and Carol tried to climb on. We let her but only because Elaine's mother said we had to. Her father lit the tiki torches on their deck and they flipped on their spot lights so we could continue jumping.

The shadowy trees were endlessly tall and we just knew that one good bounce would get us to the tops of those trees. We tried so hard. Each bounce was the one bounce that would catapult us among the branches and each landing brought us down to the reality of the ground. But, when you're nine, the ground doesn't faze you. You just keep jumping higher and higher believing that each jump will get you there. And so we jumped. We squealed, we fell back down and we laughed. We laughed until our stomachs hurt and we heard Elaine's mother calling, “Girls! Come in and eat your hotdogs.” Her mother made the best hotdogs. She would split them just like a hotdog bun and fill the dog up with mashed potatoes and cheese. It was our favorite.

*********

Twelve years later, on an evening not unlike the ones from our eternal pasts, we laid on the trampoline. It was hot and the humidity was oppressive as always. The mosquitoes dined on our skin leaving the ugly evidence behind. We didn't notice any of it. We laid there with only our heads and hands touching. We looked upward at those same trees that had stood the test of the past twelve years. They were the same as they had been for the most part but they didn't seem quite as large nor quite as beautiful. We looked right through them, in fact, we could hardly seem them at all through the blur of our tears staining the trampoline with our childhood memories. The crickets and cichadias sang their songs but it was not music to us. It seemed a racket distracting us from our sorrow. We were still in our black dresses and pearls and no one said a thing when they walked past us to go in the back door of Elaine's house. They could hardly even look at us at all. We clung to each other for life in a soft way.

The funeral for Elaine's dad was beautiful of course. Just about the whole church had come out. Elaine's family was loved and respected and her father's death was so unexpected. I had walked in with the family letting Elaine squeeze my hand the whole way. I held her up, my other hand on the small of her back. I didn't shush her, I just let her be and I was just there. Of course I was hurting. He was a second father to me but for the first time in our lives Elaine needed me. I held my heavy head up and attempted to appear to be made out of stone while Elaine let the weight of her grief overtake her. She laid on my shoulder and cried sobs into it. I was soaked. As we walked out behind the casket I glanced at my mother with a sense of childlike desperation. I wanted her to rescue me, us, make it all-right, but she just looked at me solemnly and nodded ever so slightly. 

 

As the sun disappeared and those tiki torches didn't come on we were left in the pitch black of our grief. We both cried harder than we had all day, but I sat up without even an attempt at wiping my face and said, “Come on Elaine, let's go inside. I'll fix us hotdogs.”

As we drudged up the back steps and into the kitchen I could hear the soft shuffling of feet upstairs as my mother tended to Elaine's mother. She was putting her to bed. It was comforting to hear my mother's feet moving graciously above.

I dug through the fridge while Elaine sat pathetically at the table. She was just staring into the darkness. That's what hurt the most, the pressure of now being the care-taker.

“Mashed potatoes and cheese?” I asked already knowing the answer. She turned to face me and gave me a grateful look. I pulled out the cheese and hotdogs and closed the refrigerator door. As I stood back up I was eye-to-eye with a picture of our parents from five Christmases ago. I could feel Elaine watching my gaze. I stared hard at the picture, fighting back tears and said, “Huh. Your dad was always taller.”