That's right, AW & I are having a baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And we could not be more excited about it! We are so thrilled!
*WARNING: This could end up being a really long post. Proceed with time*
I have decided to do this post in a journal format since I am writing this way before we are ready to announce it.
Hahaha, right now you have no idea....
So I'll start with Saturday 04/09/11
AW & I have had a busy past few weeks. Apart from the usual busyness of going to class, working, church activities and just life in general we are in the process of buying a home. A foreclosure to be exact, which makes the process even wilder. But life is normal, we both feel great just a little tired.
We made plans to go to early service, Sunday school, then brunch in order to catch the 1:00 show of A Chorus Line! Thanks to our generous friends, we got tickets and were really excited. We even made plans to eat at Chez Lulu's for brunch beforehand.
Well, Sunday morning I was wiped. Like no energy whatsoever. My nose was running like a faucet, I was sneezing and I felt like some evil doer had used an energy-zapper on me all night while I slept. Plus I had a weird blemish right in the middle of my face. Great.
We went to early service but left before it even ended because I was feeling so bad. We went home and I napped for a bit. We even decided to just go to the Egg & I, which is right by where we live, so that I could nap for an extra 30 minutes.
I reluctantly dragged myself out of bed, we went to brunch where I had coffee & took a claritin in hopes of some sort of energy arriving. I perked up a little bit and we went off to the show. Well, throughout the show I was fading fast.
We came straight home after, where I immediately crawled back into bed. I was a little nervous because I'd never been so exhausted with allergies before. But, I decided I would just rest. I slept until AW woke me up so I could eat some dinner. I was up for about 2 hours and went back to bed where I slept for 10 hours solid until the next morning!
That leads us to... Monday 04/11/11
I woke up still sleepy and still stuffy but I didn't have to be at work until 1:00 so I decided to just laze around and watch KLG & Hoda while drinking some coffee in hopes of feeling better, or at least alive.
I decided to hop in the shower at the last minute possible before work. I was texting one of my bosses about work that past Friday and decided since I was having some strange symptoms I might as well pee on a stick for good measure.
I didn't even give it a second thought. I peed, placed it on the back of the toilet and opened the shower curtain to hop in. That's when my phone went off with a text back. I decided to glance at it before hopping in when much to my surprise I saw that the pregnancy test was showing two lines! TWO LINES?! TWO LINES?!
My eyes are tricking me. There's no way it's two lines. Just close your eyes, blink a hundred-thousand times and then look again.
I immediately called AW while my hands were shaking like crazy & my heart felt like it was literally going to beat out of my chest! He wasn't answering...and with each call I was stressing more and more.
I finally reached him & told him the news. He was shocked and really happy. And surprisingly really level-headed. He suggested I take another test which I thought was brilliant and I was surprised I hadn't thought of that idea already!
I proceeded to gulp down glasses of water in an attempt to produce that coveted urine. I barely got anything but apparently it was enough for the test to immediately show those two pink lines.
AW also suggested that I call the doctor. Which I did & when I was talking to the girl up there I broke down. Full on tears. I could barely speak for a second. Wow! Embarrassing!
Sometimes AW calls me "Franny Freakout" because, well, I freak out. A lot. I am "crouched to control" and unfortunately life does not always go exactly as you want it; when that happens, I freak out. I'd like to think I'm getting better about it, but I might be a little subjective.
So, I scheduled my appointment for the next day and hung up. And cried some more. AW suggested I call someone who had been pregnant before because he had no idea what to say to bring me back down. "Why don't you call your mom?"
"I don't want to call Mom. What if it's wrong? She'll be so disappointed. I don't want to tell anyone 'til we know for sure!"
So, I called work to tell them I would be running behind and my wonderful boss, Tina, was superwoman. I ended up confessing my new secret to her amidst a lot of tears. She was awesome and called me down, told me to wash my face and come in.
I eventually got around to that shower I had been attempting and went on in to work. Tina talked to me some more. Reminded me that it was obviously God's will and that he would provide and protect.
I told her I was upset because the book (What To Expect Before You're Expecting) had told me it could take 6-12months to conceive. Plus we hadn't been attempting hard core. At all!
She said, "Laura, you can't always trust those books. You know that."
And then I felt dumb. But happy. And I was glad that the book had been wrong. So two hours after I saw those pink lines I was sitting at work while my head was literally swimming and I realized in horror! that I hadn't told my baby I loved it. So I told it.
I also apologized in advance for my tendency to curse while driving.
(During this whole crazy day, we also heard back from the bank on 2 different offers we had made. Good news but still we were having to make some fast decisions. Thankfully my hubby took charge and totally handled it all. Then that evening there was a tornado that came through and we were hanging out in the closet with Artie, listening to JP Dice on the radio, for about half an hour.)
Both AW & I barely got any sleep on Monday night because we were so excited about what the Dr. would say. Actually, I had this deep fear that he would think I was crazy, tell me the home test was wrong and that I was not pregnant.
I went to class as usual, AW went to work and at 2:15 we met up at the hospital! This was it! Moment of truth!
So, we waited...
And then I peed in a cup and talked to a nurse who asked us a lot of questions, gave us a lot of information, and hooked me up with some awesome prenatal vitamins that I can actually swallow.
Then we were sent back out to wait....
They called us back to a room and told me to wrap up in that lovely over-sized paper towel and press the little yellow button when I was ready.
Then we waited....
The Dr. came in, talked to us, told us congratulations and proceeded to do an exam. He then told us to head down to get a sonogram. TVS style. (If you don't know what that means you can ask me later...ouch.)
We then waited again....(but not that long this time)
She did the sonogram and had a hard time finding the baby which of course made me nervous. She told me that I was measuring at 5 weeks but that visually I looked only about 4 weeks. The Dr. had told us there was a good chance we wouldn't see anything and not to worry.
I got dressed again and we were taken to the Dr.'s office.
Where...you guessed it...we waited.
He came in and at this point I was still unsure if it was real. I asked him if he thought I actually was pregnant and he said, yes. Although we wouldn't have a definite answer until we saw something.
I then had some blood drawn and we were finally released! 3 HOURS!!! Wow! I was exhausted.
(But, I would totally wait all day to see my Dr. because he is awesome! If you need a great Dr. who loves the Lord & sees his work as a ministry let me know!)
(But, I would totally wait all day to see my Dr. because he is awesome! If you need a great Dr. who loves the Lord & sees his work as a ministry let me know!)
We headed to my brother's baseball game & I called my mom to see what their dinner plans were. AW & I decided that since it's really early at this point we are only going to tell our immediate families so that they can be in prayer for the baby. Plus we are so excited we want to tell SOMEONE!!!
My mom was NOT helpful in telling me their plans and she asked where I was because I was an hour late to the game. I kept trying to figure out what they were doing to no avail. So, I just said,
"Mom, I've been at Dr. McKenzie's office."
She freaked. But I made her walk away from the crowd so as not to alert other people, plus I really hated for her to know before my dad knew. So I told her to act surprised when we told the fam.
After the game we went to eat at Olive Garden for my aunt's birthday. After all of the other relatives had left we told my parents & brothers in the parking lot of Olive Garden. Classy. We then called my sister and shared the news with her.
We had already called AW's family and they were excited as well. We went home tired but really, really happy.
At this point AW & I have had a few days to let the baby news settle in as reality. The baby is constantly on our minds and I literally think about nothing else.
It affects everything. Mentally, I have been having weird dreams plus I am constantly analyzing every single bodily feeling I have.
I have had some trouble sleeping which is not helping my already amped-up exhaustion. I usually sleep on my stomach or side but due to soreness I can't sleep on my stomach and whenever I lay on either side I start cramping.
2 nights ago the cramps were fairly bad & I freaked. I called the Doctor the next morning and the nurse told me it was totally normal even this early in the game. Phew! I hope they don't have Caller ID because I will probably be calling up there every day with some new question or concern. I am psycho mom.
In fact, I've even had the thought that I wish as soon as you knew you were pregnant that you would be admitted to the hospital for the full 9 months so that you could be under constant care & observation. Loony. I know.
One fun thing was AW & I went to Publix the other night & bought all sorts of yummy & healthy foods that I can eat for lunch since I'm staying away from that evil-lysteria-covered-lunch-meat!
Other than soreness/achiness/exhaustion/difficulty sleeping/weepiness I feel great!
I am BEYOND THANKFUL that at this point I have not experienced any nausea!!!
Seriously, that is HUGE!!! Praise be to the Lord!!!
Oh & another piece of good news, the Dr. called to say my blood levels look good & I go back Monday to have more blood taken to make sure my hormones are increasing. And then in about 1 1/2 weeks - 2 weeks we go back for another (hopefully, less painful) sonogram so that we can hopefully SEE our baby!
Well, it was certainly an eventful weekend! Friday there were some really serious tornadoes that came through but I slept right on through them.
The University closed, work closed & I had a free afternoon. I was wiped after the crazy week of learning about Baby & trying to buy a house & class & work & life in general...whew! I went to my parents & slept for about 3 hours.
Then, I went home after dinner and went to bed. And slept.
Saturday, my brother had a baseball game & we went but because of the previous night's storms it was VERY windy & a bit chilly! In other words, miserable!
We had plans later that night to attend a cookout with our church small group. Since I've been having anxiety attacks in the grocery store I decided it would be best if we spent a couple of hours going to organic food stores to buy some meat & sides that are baby-approved to take.
Side Story: I love the grocery store. In fact, I get a rush every time I grocery shop because I use coupons & I love to see how much I saved! Plus I enjoy cooking so I like to pick out food.
However strangely enough, whenever I have some major life change, the grocery store becomes my nemesis. Huh? You're wondering. I know....let me explain...
When AW & I got home from our honeymoon we decided we needed to go to the grocery store because our little love nest was foodless. In great form I began making a rather extensive list of what I thought we should purchase.
Well, much to my surprise, AW starts telling me items he wants me to put on the list. Total panic set in. He was saying, "I like tuna and apples and salad. I can take that for lunch. And I like...."
What?! I don't take those things for lunch! I take turkey sandwiches and lean cuisines and chocolate chip cookies! We can't buy all of my stuff AND your stuff too...Panic.
Please don't ask why because I don't know but this made me panic. Would I have to eat tuna and apples for lunch? Yuck! I began to cry. Hard.
Sweet AW, who was very bewildered, talked to me, gave me reassurance and eventually told me to go wash my face because we really did need to get to the store.
Everything turned out fine and I explained that I would need to go down every, single aisle just to make sure we had what we needed (but really I just wanted some sense of control).
Well, now that I have acquired The Mommy Lens, the grocery store has brought on great anxiety. No-thanks to Google & the massive amounts of information on hand I have over-loaded my brain, therefore confusing myself & causing total mental panic.
"Did that list say organic grapes only but regular apples? Or was it the other way around? I can't remember! I'll just have to get both organic! Do they have those here? Should I go to a certified organic store? I can't use coupons there!" Panic.
AW & I went to a sale at Piggly Wiggly and my dear husband could sense my over-whelming anxiety creeping up. He grabbed my elbow, looked at me and said, "It's ok. We don't have to get anything." Calm.
In fact, if it weren't for AW I would probably be dead. Or, you know, crumpled in a corner crying uncontrollably until I did actually die. I know I'm being silly & it's easy to do in a post but really, there is always a new
question fear that crawls into my unsuspecting brain.
As a result I have been keeping this weapon of defense in my brain:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Well after we got home from the store we took a nap. When it was time to leave for the cookout I did not feel well, at all. I sent AW on without me and cried because I felt like such a failure of a wife.
But because I have been so sleepy my tears lasted about 45 seconds. And then I fell asleep. I've thought about writing a humorous book on the journey of pregnancy & I came up with a title:
Too Tired To Cry
That about sums it up, for me at least. Too tired to cry. That is no lie, my friend. So, off my wifeless hubby went. Off to sleepyland I went.
I woke up a couple of hours later feeling as though Fear had been joined by Death and they were simultaneously attacking me. I immediately called AW & asked him to come home with a thermometer.
He rushed home, refreshed my glass of blue Gatorade and stuck the thermometer in my mouth.
I called the Dr. immediately and began blubbering on and on, choking through my tears to tell this terrible news of a fever. Of course his tone implied I was CrAzY (not really, I'm just being a little sensitive) and he reassured me that with a little Tylenol I should pull through.
30 HOURS LATER....my fever finally broke!!!!!
I had an appointment yesterday to have more blood drawn for an HCG test & of course asked the nurse a hundred more questions. I got my results yesterday afternoon & my hormone levels are at 5,000 something!!!
WooHoo!! Last Tuesday they were at 500 something so that is great! For now, I am anticipating our next ultrasound a week from today & dying inside to share the news with everyone. I'm avoiding ALL websites regardless of how "valid" they may be (or look) and limiting my literature to What To Expect When You're Expecting and The Bible.
It's really the only way to maintain sanity. (Sorry for such a long entry today, but I did warn you at the beginning that this could get lengthy)!
Yesterday afternoon was WONDERFUL! We went back to the Dr. and had another ultrasound & saw the most precious little heartbeat!!! It was amazing!!!
Seeing that little heart pumping away was the most amazing, wonderful, overwhelming experience of my life. AW said he was speechless & I was crying before I even knew I was crying.
I could go on & on forever about how wonderful it was to see that little miracle! Wow! I'm not going to get on a soapbox here, but how anyone could say that there isn't a little life in there is beyond disgusting to me!
Our sweet Dr. said, "It's not much, just a little english pea, but it's our english pea." Which of course made me cry some more. So sweet! So...here's a picture of our little english pea (I circled Baby in red):
We were on cloud 9. We just couldn't get over it! We went to my parent's and shared one of the 8 pictures that printed out! We, of course, have our little pea proudly on the fridge!
"Baby's 1st Picture"!
They pushed my due date back. Originally they said Dec.11 but yesterday they said the new "official" date is Dec.19!!! Ahhhh!! It feels like it's forever away! I just can't wait to see the Wild Baby!
So, as of today I am 6wks/2dys! I'm feeling pretty good. A little nausea but mostly when I'm provoked by something gross. I've determined that I am craving the potato in ANY form! As long as it's salty!
I mean, LOTS of salt! Mmmm...saaaaaalllttt....or really any carb will do. I'm not a health nut by any means but I always try to make sure we have something green with dinner, whether it's a salad or peas or broccoli.
However, all green veggies are making me nauseous & even gaggy. Blech! Saturday night we went out with AW's fam to celebrate his dad's b'day & I ordered steamed broccoli. After about one bite & smelling that steamed, greeness I had to just hand it to the waiter to take far, far away. Same with my dinner at Cracker Barrel last night. I ordered Chicken fried chicken with sawmill gravy, boiled potatoes, dumplings & greens.
Yeah, the greens went back after about two bites. I couldn't even look at them. However my white plate covered in white, starchy, carbs was devoured in record time! Even when I cooked dinner Monday night I could only choke down 1 helping of green peas (which are my favorite) but I ate up some spaghetti noodles just cooked in butter!
**Please no lectures on the unhealthiness of eating all white foods. I can't help it**
Now we're just trying to decide when to spill the beans...
Well, I think all or most of you already know about Wild Baby. I'll "thank" my dad for that. Who knew? Here's a tip for the future: When trying to keep Baby a secret, DON'T TELL YOUR PARENTS!!!
Of course I'm excited that they're so excited but wow! So, like I said, you probably already know & that's great but just act surprised ok?
Anyways, I'm 7wks/3days today & wow! what a week! Last week was the awful tornadoes that destroyed a lot of our great state. Then Sunday we got news that Bin Laden was killed. Monday was our 2 year wedding anniversary & through it all I've been on the verge of puking.
That's right. Good ol' nausea has decided to join us. Thankfully no puking but just every other side affect known to man including a nose bleed. Besides being exhausted, constantly nauseous, killer acid reflux, not being able to sleep, being bloated and my nose bleeding, I'm great!
Oh, & let's not forget my nightly weird-as-all-get-out dreams plus tears for no reason.
I'm not complaining, I am BEYOND excited & grateful for this child. I'm just documenting my experience. So no lectures please!
In fact, I prefer no lectures of any kind on any subject. At all. Ever. & if you've had some horrible pregnancy experience DO NOT SHARE IT WITH ME!!! (I'm speaking from experience).
Your horrible, awful, terrible experience will creep into my brain, give me an awful nightmare and make me cry all day the next day. There's really no point in me knowing.
If you would like to empathize or relate to my experience then please do. In fact, that's what I need. But don't scare me & don't project onto me.
Back to Baby...
I am still feeling like December 19th is light years away! Actually, I feel like my appointment in a week & a 1/2 is light years away! I LOVE going to the Dr! I get to see my little baby & I get my Dr.'s ear all to myself & everyone is happy to see you. I must say that so far, the best part of being pregnant is going to the Dr!
But like I've said before, I have the best Dr.
Now, although I haven't done any registry stuff or picked out any specifics (besides names) & I haven't started buying diapers, I have been mildly freaking out about planning this child's birthday parties.
Wild Baby is going to be born right around Christmas time & all of their friends will be travelling for the holidays & everyone will be monetarily tapped out & everyone will have something every weekend. When, oh when will I have Wild Baby's birthday party???
& how, oh how, will I make Wild Baby feel extra special on their birthday without it bleeding into Christmas???
If you are a December baby please let me know your thoughts!!!
Also, I called my pediatrician's office just to make sure he isn't retiring any time soon. I grew up going to him along with all my siblings and several of my cousins. He's AWESOME!!! I love Dr. Steve & I would just cry (literally) if I couldn't take Wild Baby to him!
He's been practicing for close to 40 years so I told my mom I hope he's getting a second wind because I need him! Probably for at least 20-30 more years. 70 years practicing medicine isn't so long....right? Errrr....
Also, some other good news that we got today, AW & I are under contract on a townhome!!! Hopefully all will go smoothly & we will be out of our apartment by the end of the month!!!
This is the farthest we've gone in the whole home-buying process so I'm still a little nervous (can you imagine me nervous? Crazy, right?!) & a little skeptical but I know that the Lord is orchestrating it all.
It's in an awesome location! 10 minutes from my parents, 5 minutes from our church & 5 minutes from the interstate! Also, I finished up school yesterday & am now preparing to work, work, work all summer & basically until Wild Baby shows up.
I can't wait!!!
As of today I am 9 weeks & Baby is growing like crazy with a great heartbeat of about 160bpm!!!
Mom went with me to this visit & it was so much fun! Baby is just so much bigger! We couldn't believe it!
Here's a picture: