An Awkward Tan

Recently I was put in the most awkward situation of my life (I will share the story sometime soon). As I was reflecting on this situation I was reminded of what was my most awkward situation until now. This is the story I will share with you today. Also, as this is a very awkward situation I will not reveal the name of the other party involved although some of you already know ;) ...

It was 2007 and a warm spring afternoon in Montevallo around 3 or 4 p.m. A sorority sister of mine and I decided to go tanning in Alabaster before caf-o-clock (5:00). We wanted to be back a little before 5 so that we would be sure to walk from the Alpha Gam hall with the group, so all of that to say, we were in a hurry! We arrived and I got to go in immediately but she had to wait. I was going in for 20-30 minutes and she was only going for about 15 minutes. We figured since I was going in first we would get done around the same time and hustle back to Mo-town for that ever-delicious caf food so lovingly prepared by Ms. Donna =) 
 I enjoyed my tanning session complete with a nice cool fan and some fun tunes on the radio. I got dressed and walked out to find the waiting room empty. I just knew for sure my friend would have been out there probably waiting on me but she wasn't. No big deal. I picked up whatever magazine was lying around to flip through because surely she would be out any minute. Probably ten minutes went by and she was still not done. "Wow, she must've really had a long wait before she got a bed," I thought. I decided to go ask the girl at the desk how much time she had left. "She's done. Her time ended about 5 minutes ago." hmmm...she sure was taking a long time to get dressed but whatever we still had some time to spare. I continued to wait...and wait...and wait. Well now I began to get worried. "Has she left me?? Did she forget that I was with her? Surely not!" I thought as I walked out to the huge parking lot to look for her car. I didn't see it and really began to get nervous. Oh, there it is, ok she had definitely not left me. Maybe she had walked next door to the grocery store to grab something thinking I was still in there. I decided to call her phone. No answer. I went back into the tanning salon and asked the desk girl if she had come out. She hadn't seen her. Which room was she in? She told me and I wandered over to find the door still locked. I knocked. No reply. I called her cell again. No reply. Now I was really getting worried and hungry as caf-o-clock was drawing closer.
Now it must be noted that this sorority sister is notorious for falling asleep. As I knew this fact I just knew she had fallen asleep. I went to the desk girl again and asked her if she could please unlock the door because I just knew this sister was asleep and as she slept like a brick there was no way she was going to wake up from me calling her phone or knocking on the door. "I'm sorry but we aren't allowed to unlock the doors." What?! How am I supposed to get out of here and back to Mo-town?? So, I was left only to knock and say her name a bout a billion times. As the tanning salon staff could see I was unsuccessful as I had told them I would be. One staffer comes to me stating that she has a gift. "I have a really loud voice and can yell really loud. What's her name?" I told her sister's name (and for the sake of privacy we will use the name Sally). 
"SALLY!!!" "SALLY!!!!" "SALLY!!!!!"....no success, no surprise. "I'm telling y'all she is asleep and when she's asleep she won't wake up unless you physically move her"....still won't unlock the door. grrrrr....
Desk Girl has now joined Loud Voice Girl and I. "What is her middle name?" askes Loud Voice Girl? "Kate", I reply. 
"SALLY KATE!!!" "SALLY KATE!!!" "SALLY KATE!!!"...still no reply, still not surprised.
LVG, "Ok, what is her full name?" I tell her, "Sally Kate Porter".
Now LVG really gets into her "gift" and proceeds to swing her arms back and forth three times before going into a lunge stance with both of her arms straight out behind her full-on yelling, "SALLY KATE PORTER!!!!" several times. Truly, she did have a loud voice. Whether that is a gift or not is debatable however her voice could wake the dead but not Sally while she was sleeping because you see when Sally sleeps it is a deeper sleep than even the dead sleep. (I wonder if I could have used the word "sleep" in that sentence any more?) Anyways, I finally convinced LVG & DG to unlock the door or else they were going to have to find me a sleeping bag and feed me dinner and breakfast because unless I went in there to get Sally I was staying for a while.
As I went in, embarrassed at the ruckus that had been caused, I could not help but laugh. I closed the door behind me in this tiny room with the tanning bed closed and the radio softly playing and the fan blowing a cool breeze. In the corner chair was a pile of clothes and underwear. I knew under this sun casket laid a naked sleeping girl and all I could do was laugh. After I composed myself I opened the lid to see Sally with nothing on but tanning goggles making it look as though she had alien eyes. I laughed again and managed to say her name causing her to wake up in a rather confused and embarrassed state. Wouldn't you be embarrassed if you woke up in a strange place butt-naked with someone standing over you?
Needless to say it was quite an experience and I am pretty sure we were late going to the caf but that didn't matter as this was a hilarious story that we knew every sister would appreciate!

1 comment:

  1. Wow...wow. That is a most awesome story!!! Poor girl...poor you.